i miss u soooo much nixk. i kno u look down on me, or ur hea wit me w.e it is i kno u hear n see.. n u kno how much imiss u n it sucks bc i kno u didnt want to die either, i alwayz ask myself.. we all sit here n cry cry n ask why n hurt so much but even tho he's in heaven n supposivly peacefull wat if ur doing the same thing we are bc i kno u didnt wanna die n u didnt expect it as much as we didnt either.. n it killz me. i miss u soooooooo much nicky. iiiiii cant explain it jus hurts so bad! =/ i love u big brotha i CANNOT wait to see u agen. i love u
"britt member how u dropped the juicey juice can on ur foot wen u were little, ill never forget that" "is that how i friggan lost my pink toe nail??????" every1 laughs at me "no seriosuly look i dont have a pinky toe nail is that reeli how i lost it?" and i member hearin ur laugh that i alwayz hear and will never forget " ya thats reeli how u lost it, honest to god" lol i was jus thinkin of that cuz i was lookin at my toenail-less toe... i love you and miss you SO MUCH. its been 4 hard months nick.
I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I always did, but this is more than ever before. I think about what we had & how much we meant to each other. I know that you are with me even though I cannot see you but I just want so badly to see your face. I wanna hear your voice & see your smile. I miss you with every part of me. You will forever be part of me - it just hurts to know we will never be able to live out all our plans we had. Ahhh I miss you Nick! I love you so very much! Always Have && Always Will!
The more and more I read about all your memories with other people you just get more and more rediculous and I love it. You were always there for me when my brothers sucked and you always threw in your 10 cents to make me laugh. I just sit here and think of all the fun BBQs we had in your backyard or how you and Jay got me into liking Caronas. You were always full of laughs and never wanted to see anyone upset. I will try to stay strong for you and get everyone laughing about you and not crying in this time of need. Hey we might even laugh at you because we both know there are plenty of stories we can think about where you just did some funny things. I love and miss you everyday Nicky.
So th holidays are here and its really making this all so real for everyone. But I wanted to come on here because the other night I was talking with your dad about that Christmas, I think it was freshman year, a bunch of us were at your house but nobody was supposed to be and we were drinking peppermint schnapps and then all this drama happened, there was an almost fight outside, your cousin punched a hole in the wall, Katelyn and Renae showed up all angry, then your parents came home early so we all hid. We went in the basement to hide and in comes your dad swinging a bat because he came home and all the doors were open and he heard noises and thought we were robbers! Haha I am laughing so hard right now just thinking about it! Christmas, and every other day for that matter, will NOT be the same without you here....
Here's a pic from Christmas 2004! Another memorable one!
I love you and miss you and think about you everyday, and I'll always be there for your family no matter what!
PS- Watch over your mom, dad, sisters and Erica... they miss you and need you terribly.
